Author Topic: "Dad Joke" Thread (Read 1916 times)

Zandrax · « **on:** September 04, 2017, 01:45:31 PM »

Post your best (and worst) Dad Jokes.

Do you know what my grandfather said right before he kicked the bucket?

"Watch me kick this bucket."

dam skippy · « **Reply #1 on:** September 04, 2017, 07:31:37 PM »

What color is a hiccup?

Burple.

Zandrax · « **Reply #2 on:** September 05, 2017, 11:19:51 AM »

How do you catch a blue monster?

With a Blue Monster Net.

The_Spoiler · « **Reply #3 on:** September 08, 2017, 12:32:11 PM »

When you look really closely, all mirrors look like eyeballs.

dam skippy · « **Reply #4 on:** September 08, 2017, 01:59:54 PM »

I was going to write a book about my recent experience with constipation but it's not coming out.

The_Spoiler · « **Reply #5 on:** September 08, 2017, 06:55:42 PM »

This is my step ladder. I never met my real ladder.

BobbyR · « **Reply #6 on:** September 08, 2017, 09:52:49 PM »

That ladder one is actually funny

SupTool · « **Reply #7 on:** September 08, 2017, 10:12:19 PM »

I was just looking at my ceiling. Not sure if it’s the best ceiling in the world, but it’s definitely up there

Zandrax · « **Reply #8 on:** September 08, 2017, 11:13:21 PM »

Why do SCUBA Divers fall backwards out of the boat?

If they fell forwards, they'd fall into the boat.

The_Spoiler · « **Reply #9 on:** September 09, 2017, 08:32:51 AM »

A man walks into a library and orders fish and chips.

The librarian looks up at him and says, "This is a library."

The man replies, "Oh, sorry". Then he says in a whisper, "I'd like some fish and chips."

Zandrax · « **Reply #10 on:** September 09, 2017, 08:01:26 PM »

How do you catch a blue monster?

With a Blue Monster Net

BobbyR · « **Reply #11 on:** September 09, 2017, 09:43:43 PM »

Dude you already posted that

BlackLight · « **Reply #12 on:** September 10, 2017, 12:08:35 AM »

Quote from: BobbyR on September 09, 2017, 09:43:43 PM

Dude you already posted that

And Dads NEVER tell the same joke twice!

The_Spoiler · « **Reply #13 on:** September 10, 2017, 06:50:42 AM »

Quote from: BobbyR on September 09, 2017, 09:43:43 PM

Dude you already posted that

To be fair, it was funnier the second time around.

BobbyR · « **Reply #14 on:** September 11, 2017, 08:02:14 PM »

Not that's funny

Zandrax · « **Reply #15 on:** September 11, 2017, 10:44:40 PM »

How do you catch a Red Monster?

Hold its nose until it turns blue, then catch it with a Blue Monster Net.

Zandrax · « **Reply #16 on:** September 11, 2017, 11:24:41 PM »

Quote from: BlackLight on September 10, 2017, 12:08:35 AM

And Dads NEVER tell the same joke twice!

Thanks for the save BlackLight

Zandrax · « **Reply #17 on:** September 16, 2017, 07:39:22 AM »

What's the difference between an elephant and an egg?

If you don't know, I'm never sending you to get eggs.

The_Spoiler · « **Reply #18 on:** September 18, 2017, 12:44:57 PM »

My friend asked me to help him round up his 37 sheep.
[/size]I said "40"[/color]

Zandrax · « **Reply #19 on:** September 19, 2017, 03:06:01 PM »

Since it's Talk Like A Pirate Day

How do pirates make calls?

With their AyePhones

BlackLight · « **Reply #20 on:** September 19, 2017, 05:03:48 PM »

Why couldn't the pirate go see his favorite movie?

Because it was rated "ARRRRRRR."

The_Spoiler · « **Reply #21 on:** October 03, 2017, 07:26:13 AM »

Why does the Norwegian Navy have barcodes on the sides of their ships?

So that when they come back to port they can Scandinavian.

BlackLight · « **Reply #22 on:** November 20, 2017, 02:46:19 AM »

*Son stubs toe*

Dad: "Should I call the toe truck?"