Carlos Raymond Norris, Esq (est. 1940), better known by his nickname "Chuck," was a world-renowned everyman the likes of which no one had seen since Paul Bunyan. Though he somehow managed to do every conceivable action both possible and impossible in his lifetime, his reputation has been slightly tarnished in recent years by allegations of steroid use. In fact, though his legacy is great, some even question whether or not he actually did anything notable. However, these allegations have been largely quieted in recent years, due mostly to irrational fears that his power will smite them.
http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Chuck_norris
Damon Macready was an accountant living a boring and repetitive life with a wife who hated him and a daughter whom he cherished. Relying on his love of comic books, he sought to be someone who made a difference against crime, fancying himself as a real life superhero vigilante. To this end, he began to train both himself and his daughter in every lethal field of combat known to man. He brainwashed her with a fictional origin story that stated her mother was killed by frustrated mafia soldiers led by John Genovese, thus creating a motive and a target for both of them. He named himself Big Daddy and his daughter became the katana wielding butcheress known as Hit-Girl. Whilst he was training her, he began his war on crime, spending ten years fighting criminals prior to his allegiance with Kick Ass. He wears a Batman-like costume with kevlar reinforcement and is highly skilled with all manner of weaponry. In combat, he uses A Beretta 92 handgun, a collection of combat knives, and several hand grenades.
http://www.comicvine.com/big-daddy/29-57159/
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